Teach Behavior

BEHAVIOR… YOU HAVE TO TEACH IT...
“If a child doesn’t know how to read, we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to swim, we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to drive, we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to behave, we …teach? …punish?”
John Herner, Counterpoint (1998)

Help misbehaving children to learn new and better ways

-Interact respectfully with misbehaving youngsters.  Treat them as you would like
    to be treated.  Help them to do better.  Be a guide, not a boss.  Be the type of
    teacher you remember fondly from your school days.
        -Talk TO them, not AT them
        -Keep your voice at a conversational level, even when you're perturbed
        -Avoid giving lectures about life
        -Exhibit the self control you wish for them to show
        -Never do anything to them that you wouldn't want done to you
        -Separate the behavior from the kid.  Like the child, dislike the behavior.
-In an incident, don't just find fault, identify what was OK and what wasn't (some %
    of positive).  For example: "Fran, it was noble of you to stand up for your friend.
    Being a loyal friend is important.  However, I can't allow you to hit others.  How
    else could you have handled the situation?"
-Seek win-win solutions.  Look for solutions to problems that don't find blame or punish.
-Help the youngster to display more acceptable behavior:
    -teach it, role-play it, remind him/her to demonstrate it, reward it, and encourage more of it.